who says the grass is always greener on the other side?

Zac wanted me to post some pics of the yard (aka, "his baby")

a see a new purchase in my future!

Ok, that settles it. The lawn guy just got here and mowed my 1/2 acre yard front, back and sides, edged and blown the clippings all in one hour. I think I will be buying a riding lawnmower while Zac is gone. It actually looks like fun!

We're not in Kansas, Toto!

Good grief, it feels like a tornado out there! I woke up this morning at 6am because the wind was whipping! I had to go outside and take down the canopy on the gazebo. It was flying and holding on by a few straps. Look at this crazy weather!
It almost looks like the remnant of a hurricane!! 31 days and counting now till the start of hurricane season. God forbid we have an active one this summer or I am screwed! Without Zac here to help, it would totally suck trying to get that trampoline apart and the gazebo, the windows boarded, etc. I don't even want to think about it.

So with the winds kicking 25-40mph according to weather.com, we will probably be staying inside. This house needs a good cleaning anyway. And considering I just spent $62 to fill my gas tank, I should limit my driving anyway.

Field day!

Today was Makenna's field day at school. It was more like "field hour"! I guess it was nice, but definately not the way I remember field day from when I was in school. Maybe because it was kindergarten, but they only did 6 events, and only raced against their own class. No one was first, second or third. Quite frankly, it was just one long P.E. Oh well, I got a couple of pics for her daddy to see. I have more (of course I do, you know me!) but in almost every picture, Makenna was standing next to another girl who haphazardly was either bending over with her big butt flat out staring at me (Zac should know who I am talking about) or it was of Makenna from far away! So I will post just these two.




Taura was supposed to come over tonight from Panama City. Of course, something came up, like it always does and she didn't get to come. I know that she would never want me to feel this way, but lately I have felt like I couldn't rely on Taura if I needed her. I know she has a new business, etc and it takes a lot of time to get it started and all, but we barely talk anymore. I wish she could have known how much I really needed her to come tonight.

So after Makenna's baseball practice, I was bad and went to McDonalds. I had a craving for a cheeseburger! And it was mmmmm good.

I just looked out the window and realized that the lawn needs to be mowed. Supposedly, Kevin was going to do it this week, but it is now the weekend. Hopefully he will get it done. I don't think it can go another week. I really wish I would have been able to talk Zac into a riding lawn mower now. I could easily go out there and whip it out myself. I hate relying on someone else. I would much rather do the job myself and the way I like it.

It's raining, it's pouring!

I love rain. I love the way it smells. I especially love to watch the rain during a thunderstorm like we had tonight. This is the 2nd time it has rained in a while, and boy did we need it.

I got to talk to Zac today. I always look forward to hearing from him. But it looks like he may be there for a minimum of 120 days. We are only 15 days in. How depressing does that sound?

Had lunch with Lacey and Kelly at Shlotsky's? Is that how you spell that? I had never been there before. It was nice to hang out with other girls- hell adults for that matter! I also ran around and did a couple of errands. A return at Joanne's and of course, I had to stop at the LSS. I need to start working on that card swap! So I think Erin is coming over tomorrow night so we can work on it together.

Speaking of Erin, I am proud of her for coming to work out this morning even though she didn't feel that well. If you are reading this, way to go Erin!

There's no such thing as *perfect*

Yesterday morning after Makenna's baseball game, we left to go to Panama City to watch the fitness and bodybuilding competition. It was a very long day. I was so proud of Makenna. She endured hours of sitting in an auditorium watching the muscle show. It was around 10-ish (pm) before we were able to leave and get DINNER!! She complained a little, but she was so good. I felt so bad to have her out so late eating dinner. She was so exhausted she practically fell asleep while eating her cheese pizza.

It was nice to see Panama City again. Sometimes, I really miss that place. And wow! It has really built up from what I remember last. I mean, 23rd street has grown! I saw Taura and Curtis there, but details didn't work out so where we could hang out together at all. I think she is planning on coming down this weekend with the boys and staying overnight Friday. That will be fun!

So the competition thing was a real eye opener. I mean, the bodies on these people were incredible. BUT, I did learn something important: Even perfect isn't always perfect!

I saw some jello-like boodilicious going on that was quite shocking! And some cellulite butt and thighs. Still though, I would love to be in the same level of shape as any one of these people. Here's just one picture of a girl that was at the show! Amazing!

Anyway, before the show started, we listened to the National Anthem and then gave a moment of silence for the soldiers in Iraq... my heart stopped for a minute because this time, it really did apply to me. Of course, I shed a couple of silent tears. I miss Zac so much! Occasionally I see Makenna sitting silently and when I ask her what she is thinking, she tells me she's thinking about her daddy. I know she misses him a lot, too.

I have been trying to stay busy, but things are just not the same here without Zac. He brings me a comfort I didn't realize I had come to expect and need. I always considered myself to be an independant woman who never needed a man for anything. Well, I was wrong. I need Zac near me.

An award for volunteerism?

Today wasn't so bad. After I worked out this morning, I went to help out at Makenna's school. Another mom and I twisted brown paper to mkae it look like a tree and hot glued it to the wall. That was fun!

I came home and relaxed for a while. I have had a headache for a few days now and needed to rest. I think I even fell asleep on the couch for about an hour.

Zac emailed me a really beautiful email. It made me think how special I really am to have a wonderful husband who still loves me after 10 years of marriage, and a fabulous father for my child. I couldn't ask for anything more! (except money!)

Speaking of money... I went to this awards banquet thing tonight in Pensacola. I wasn't going to go when I got the letter in the mail. I figured it was some sort of general banquet honoring students in criminal justice. I also thought that since I had already graduated, it must not apply to me and I got a letter by mistake. Well, I was informed a couple of weeks ago by former professors of mine that I was receiving an award. WOW! Cool! When I got there tonight and noticed that it was an award for volunteer service, I was somewhat dissappointed at first. Why couldn't I have gotten the award for outstanding CJ student? Anyway, I accepted graciously and was pleasantly surprised when I opened my certificate. Inside was a nice check for $200!! I also got a special gift from Dr. Johnson since she knows how much I love forensics. An autographed book from Dr. Henry Lee titled "crime scene handbook". Perfect!

Tomorrow we are going to Panama City for the day/night to watch Greg's girlfriend Penny compete in a fitness show. I am looking forward to seeing Taura while I am there. Of course I will forward my calls, so Zac, if you are reading this... you can still call me.

I miss you! I miss you! I miss you! I miss you! I miss you! I miss you! I miss you! I miss you! I miss you! I miss you! I miss you! I miss you! I miss you!

it looks so shiny!

After I worked out this morning, I decided to wash the truck. It needed it SO bad! Look how shiny it looks. Now I just need to find the motivation to wax it!

Feeling a little insane!

I went with Makenna's class to the local zoo. It was nice, although we had been there like a gazillion times. I'm not sure if it was because it was hot or what, but Makenna started to act like a total brat. The usual whining and carrying on because "so and so got there first", or "he pushed me", whatever. By the end of the field trip I was so ready to go! LOL

Ordered pizza tonight. I wasn't in any mood to try and make dinner. I feel like I am in a funk of sorts. It's like I walk around the house looking for something to do, but I don't have the desire to do it. Even though I know there is a lot I need to do.

Maybe it's because I look forward to Zac's phone call, and when it doesn't happen it depresses me. I know he can't always call. I mean he is in a war for God's sake! Then of course, I am here alone... no one really calls to talk. No one comes over to hang out with me. No one asks me to go anywhere or do anything. I know everyone's busy with their own lives, but man. It gets lonely. I guess I could call them, but it bothers me that no one seems to care. Does that sound too self-absorbed?

Makenna fell asleep early. Like at 7:30! It's funny, because I was watching her thinking to myself, "Don't go to sleep! I need company!" LOL. The night is the worst. Since there is nothing decent on TV tonight, I am completely bored. I have made a list of things that I need or want to do while Zac is gone, so I guess I could work on those. I think I will go to Walmart tomorrow and get some paint.

Well, ironically just as I was typing this Ed called. He wanted to see how I was and if I needed anything.

It's only been a week. GOD!!!! I am praying that the days please move a little faster, otherwise I might just go insane!

Mom, I couldn't stop farting all day!

Straight from the mouth of my wild child. I got quite a chuckle because it's always the way she tells her story.

I went to Target today to pick up Mom's birthday present. It's the Magic Bullet... (now don't get your mind in the gutter!) It's supposed to be a really great blender/mixer. I hope it is, because I got one too from Ebay. Only I paid a lot less than I would have from a store. While I was there, I spotted a rug that I really liked. Do you think it looks okay in the kitchen? Keep in mind that I still need to paint, and I would have to life the fridge to slide the carpet down some. What do you think?

Nothing too exciting happened today. Of course, no one called (except mom and Zac). It was her birthday, but that was about it. Man, these days are dragging on so slow!

The Easter Bunny was here!

I miss Zac so much! I guess it would be easier if I had girlfriends who called and wanted to hang out, or a job to keep me busy. Sometimes I find myself in such a lonely state that it's down right depressing! That's probably why I ate all these peeps by myself! LOL


The Easter bunny came! Look what he left Makenna. Of course, she woke up bright and early (6:15am to be exact) and was so thrilled at the stickers. They just happened to be the ones that she looked at and wanted yesterday when we were at the store. Funny, I guess the Easter bunny does watch you!


Today we went over to Mom and Steve's. He made salmon patties, salad, and asparagus. Not too bad. I hid the eggs for Makenna to find in their backyard. Then she hid them for me.


This morning before we went over there, we had made cupcakes. She decorated them and everything. She wanted to save one for her daddy, so I might stick it in the freezer for him! Yummy!

Happy Easter Zac! We love and miss you!

Happy Easter!

So last night, I had to have Steve come over to grill these turkey cutlets I got at the commissary. I wish I had remembered to ask Zac to show me how to light the grill. Anyway, it was a good meal.

Today I spent the day with Mom & Makenna over in Destin. We stopped in a couple of places. Makenna, the little devil made out like a bandit thanks to Grandma! Of course, she knows that Grandma is a push-over and will get her what she wants as long as she looks cute! LOL!

I wish I had my camera today while we were driving over the Destin bridge. The water was absolutely beautiful! It was almost aqua-green. Absolutely gorgeous.


This evening Makenna and I colored eggs. She was excited to see what each color would do to the egg, mixing and blending all colors. Tomorrow we are going to go to Grandma's to hide them and maybe swim in the pool. Valerie and Jonathon are supposed to be there, and Steve is grilling salmon patties.

Now I have to go and be the Easter Bunny once Makenna goes to bed. I made sure got some peeps for myself since I know she won't eat them. Yum!

When you're feeling blue

My poor baby. She warned me that her tummy didn't feel good. I woke up around 3-ish to Makenna telling me she had to go to the bathroom. Then she told me that she threw up in her room. I was totally surprised when I walked in her room. Everywhere!!! All over her bed, the floor, and it smelled so bad! I took her comforter off the bed and threw it in the washer. We finally fell asleep again, but I have to tell you, I was scared she wasn't finished!

All day long she has been laying in my bed restin, complaining that her stomach still hurts a little. I have been cleaning the mess in her room. Yuck!

My poor baby!

{3}

I woke up this morning with Makenna in my bed. I think I will be seeing a lot of that with Zac being gone. We got up and started getting ready for school.

She had a "green" day because she pinched Jenna on the hand because she wouldn't move? I don't know, that's all she told me.

I got a call from him this afternoon. I really missed his voice. He talked to Makenna and I heard him ask if he was a soldier and what the desert looked like? Too cute. Then she went right back to jumping on the trampoline. I on the otherhand starting crying again, I just didn't think it would be this hard. Anyway, he is doing good, but really tired.

Just before Makenna was going to bed, she started crying. I thought it was because she had just complained about her belly hurting. I asked her what was wrong, and she cried "I want my daddy". Oh. my. goodness. My heart broke into a million pieces right there. What could I say? I told her that he would call us tomorrow, and that we had to be really strong for daddy. Then as soon as a second, she was asleep. I really didn't think his being gone was affecting her that much.

{day 2}

Well, we woke up a little late... surprisingly I wasn't too stressed about it. Usually I am struggling to get Makenna in gear because she moves slower than molasses. She has been a doll since Zac left, and for that I am grateful.

I skipped the gym. I really don't know why. I think it's because I tossed and turned all last night and could not get comfortable! What I would give to have Zac's elbow stuck in face now!

I went to the commissary to get some much needed groceries. $135, not bad. I am sure I won't be going for a while. See, salad, chicken and healthy foods, Zac!

I roasted a small chicken, red potatoes and onions for dinner. I kept wishing Zac would walk in that door and comment on how good it smelled. I am thinking that he is about there now, and hopefully will call soon with his address/email.

Makenna asked how many days it was until her daddy comes home. I know she misses him already!

{Day one}

I had the strangest dream last night. It was the 3 of us, and I was waiting in the truck passenger side. Zac had Makenna helping him load money bags into a shopping cart from the back door of a bank. All of a sudden, a police car pulled up, and next thing I know a woman in military uniform (it was his 1sgt in my dream) said, "And we were on the way to promote you and congratulate you on your new baby girl". I woke up. WTF? First of all, Zac stealing money, and secondly, a baby girl?? Hope that's not a premonition.

Well, I took Zac to the DCC this morning to get on the plane for Iraq. I hate that we have to go through this. I cried a little when he hugged me, and for the first time in 10 years, he did too. I haven't felt that close to him in a long while.

I did good today. I tried to stay busy. After Makenna went to school, I went to Curves. Then I went to volunteer at her school. Her teacher is having an Easter egg hunt on Thursday, so I helped cram those little plastic eggs full of candy, stickers, and gum. I decided to stick around for lunch.

When I got home, I was so tired. Probably from getting up so early. So I cat-napped for about an hour before Makenna got home.

Did the usual- homework, dinner, bath then bed. I watched American Idol of course. Then I managed to clear off a working space on my scrapbook desk to work on the altered notebook swap due on Sunday!!

Zac called tonight around 7:20. He was in Baltimore about to board the next flight. He sounded in pretty good spirits. I did pretty good tonight too. I haven't cried since the morning. I miss him already...

playing "hooky"

So we got a call last night during the "last supper" before Zac was to leave saying that his report time was pushed to Tuesday morning. Cool. Yeah!! One more day!

Since I had already told Makenna that she didn't have to go to school Monday, I let her stay home. We got up and played on the trampoline for a while. Then we decided to get lunch.
us: "Where do you want to eat at Makenna?"
Makenna: "Ci-Ci's pizza"
us: "oh joy!"

So off we went. Then we thought we would go see that movie Ice Age 2 that's out. I have to say it was a really cute movie. We all enjoyed it. We were planning on going out to eat at Golden Corral because tonight is shrimp night, but looks like we are going to pass.

Now we have to do the whole "good-bye" thing all over tonight. (Secretly I am praying that they will call and cancel it all together- I know, wishful thinking)

and so the countdown begins...

Well, this is it. Monday zac is leaving. We went to lunch yesterday and starting talking about it. I actually started to cry a little. Good grief! I know it's only going to be 3 months, but I already miss him. I don't think Makenna even realizes the capacity of what it all means. It's going to be a long summer!

So this weekend we are going to BBQ with friends & family. The grill is lit, and we'll be eating good once Makenna and I get back from girl scouts. I have a yoga lady coming tonight to teach them some moves... should be quite funny.

I have got to keep my mind off of the thought of him leaving soon.