Well, it's been so long I am sure that the couple of people who read this blog are long gone now... so I guess I feel safe to write. I am getting a divorce. I never thought that it would happen to me. I am not sure how I feel about the whole thing... I mean, sometimes I am sad and angry, sometimes I am happy that I am free to find a love that is two sided. Zac was never the husband he should have been. The one who put me and his family first before softball and other friends. The person who I could go to and feel like he understood me and supported me. I have been in my marriage alone for a long time and it didn't occur to me that I have been incredibly unhappy.
So, after the initial shock of him telling me he didn't love me anymore wore off, I began thinking that I deserved better. Of course, this has been going on since January, so I have had some time to think. Do I want this divorce? Absolutely not... but I do need a husband and partner and that is something that Zac is either uncapable of or unwilling. I am not angry. Not really. Everyone in my divorce care class says I am in denial. I hope not because that means the bomb is ticking and about to explode and I am not prepared for it. So many things to do now.... so many changes about to happen in my life and I didn't ask for it.